I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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