The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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