The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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