the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
