i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
