Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
