no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize