she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
