No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
