just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
vagina is talking i cant
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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