god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
