before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
