He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
