yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
