Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
