So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
