So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize