My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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