Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
