We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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