How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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