He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
