U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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