What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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