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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
