4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
