You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
