is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
