Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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