Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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