she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
smell my finger.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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