she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
