i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize
