What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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