I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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