So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You don't make any sense
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