Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
