Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
