the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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