He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
