I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
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I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
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He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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