I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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