you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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