I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
