Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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