You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
