even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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