do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
