suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
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for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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