It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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