Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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