Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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