we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
