Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
