so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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