You really coming over, don't trick.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
