this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
