That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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