shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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