Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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