He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
