i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
