Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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